Gallery

Yo, let the bass boom, this is a work anniversary diss,
We gotta roast Dave, the king of the parenthesis.
He's got 47 tabs open, still searching for the fix,
Debugging a typo for ten hours, that's just one of his tricks.

He says coffee is a personality, that's a sad sight,
His whole existence is stuck in perpetual dark mode light.
He'll hit you with a "well actually" before you can finish your sentence,
Dave, your whole life is a codebase that needs repentance.

You think you're Neo 'cause you stare at the matrix screen?
You're just a caffeine addict, the most basic developer we've seen!
Happy Anniversary, nerd, now close your brackets tight,
Or you'll be coding that same bug until the end of the night.

[Verse 1]
You love Disney (uh!)
That's kinda creepy (yeah!)
Nursing school is tough (skrrt!)
Your patience ain't enough (what?)

[Chorus]
Sarah, Sarah, what's the plan? (Flex!)
Still searching for your man (No cap!)
Life is a mystery (yeah!)
Just get that degree (Go!)

[Verse 2]
You tryin' to find life (uh-huh)
With that nurse's knife (yikes!)
Dylan is a clown (bozo)
Why you still around? (I don't know)

[Outro]
You need a magic wand (poof!)
But you just respond (huh?)
Sarah, get a robe (yeah!)
Or stay on the globe (peace!)

[Verse 1]
They call you Blonde Ambition (uh!)
Like a cheap hair rendition.
Your hair is so bright, it's a hazard (yeah!)
Looks like a wig worn by a wizard.

[Chorus]
This is Megan's Boom-Bap Roast (ooh!)
She's the one we love the most.
But your volume needs a filter (ha!)
You're louder than a tilt-a-whirler.

[Verse 2]
Those assets are massive, no lie (wow!)
They block out the sun in the sky.
You argue so much, it's a sport (true!)
You could win gold in a courtroom.
But you parent like a legend (yep!)
Your kids are perfectly prepped.

[Outro]
So Megan, keep shining and loud (go!)
The best mom in the whole crowd.
Just please lower your voice a bit (shhh!)
You're shattering glass when you spit.

Yo, check the mic, one two, this is the boom-bap flow,
It's Wild Bill on the stage, the man you already know.
You sip so much tequila, your liver's gotta be sore,
You're not a mixologist, you're just thirsty for more.

You love the Niners, but your timing is truly a crime,
Dropping bad punchlines that waste everybody's time.
They called you best looking at camp, that's a low bar to clear,
Must've been dark in that cabin, or the mirror was unclear.

Wild Bill, you're a legend, but let's talk about the prize,
You won the Toilet Bowl bracket right before my very eyes.
The Cornballers champion, that's a title of shame,
You're the king of the losers, that's the end of your game.

So raise a glass of salt, man, you're the butt of the joke,
When the beat drops this hard, the margarita glass broke.

Yo, check the mic, one two, is this thing on?
Aight, word up.

Peace to the gods and the earth, we gathered here tonight,
For this Birthday, everything is lookin' tight.
But yo, I gotta drop the truth, the real deal Holyfield,
About my main man, the legend, who stands right here revealed.

Mike, you know the flavor, you got the juice and the clout,
But let's talk about these borrowed items that you never bring out!
You stay frontin' like a G, but your flow is kinda weak,
Like a cassette tape chewed up, the sound is kinda squeak.

You're buggin' out, fam, you know I'm tellin' no lie,
You're more vanilla ice than Wu-Tang, and that's word to the sky!
But we still love ya, kid, you're the illest in the place,
Now throw your hands in the air and give me some space!

Word. Peace out.

This ain't a diss track, this is an intervention,
You walked in here lookin' like a bad life decision.
The beat drops, yeah, that's the sound of your relevance dying,
You thought you were fly? Nah, you just perpetually trying.

Yo, listen up, TechBro, the crowd is assembled,
You got that energy of someone perpetually humbled.
You talk a big game, but your actions are cheap,
Like a SoundCloud rapper whose streams are asleep.

You claim you're the GOAT, but you're barely a sheep,
Your whole aesthetic is 'clearance rack' deep.
I'm the main event, you're the filler, the ad break,
You're so extra, you make basic look fake.

Run that back, 808s bangin', this ain't a beef, it's a slaughter,
You need to retire, go find a new hobby, like drinking more water.